When a life seems to be in crisis, is feels almost impossible to wait for anything. Over the past few weeks, I have experienced a time when my faith has been tested greatly. A few of the “pillars” of my life are very unsettled and it reminded me in a strong way, that God is the only true pillar that can be completely depended upon. Still, the longer it takes for my life to feel stable again, the more anxious I feel inside. Especially as a man, I feel a strong desire to be a provider for my family and my job search has been less productive than I had hoped it would be. There is a whole lot of reasons that I shouldn’t take it personally, but it is hard not to do that. Over and over again, God has shown me and through various means, encouraged me to just “wait.” I had only just become accustomed to that idea when I am informed that my family needs to find a new place to live as our current home will not be available much longer. That sure sent my stress up a notch or six. That is where I am this morning as I type this posting. My chest is tight and my cheeks are flushed and I am very tense. My brain is telling me that God is faithful and will see us through. I do believe that but with every day that passes, I feel more and more pressure. Besides my own sense of my responsibilities as a husband and father, I also know other have expectations of me and I wonder how they could be pleased with or proud of me under these circumstances. I know that I must find a balance between what I can do and what od will provide. I feel strongly I am doing all I can within my own power and now I must pray and wait for God to show me the rest. It is easy to type but harder to do.
Isaiah 40: 28-31
“Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion, But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will sore high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
I got to thinking that perhaps other men feel the things I mentioned above. Perhaps the men in our program at Trinity feel these things. There circumstances are certainly desperate. The program is long and the process is hard and there must be moments when they grow impatient like me and they struggle to wait for God. Besides their own expectations, they must face the expectations of their families and friends, and perhaps even of a judge or officer of the court. They no doubt have a need to begin rebuilding their lives, finding a home, a job, and the other hundreds of things that add up to make-up their vision of a better life.
Just like I have to realize that I didn’t get to the place I am in a few short days, they must acknowledge that their journey to where they are now was a long one and it doesn’t make sense to believe a trip back from somewhere is any shorter than the path we took there. It seems to me that when these feelings become so strong and unbearable, we should pray to God and ask him to take-away the anxiety and help us to calm our hearts and minds. Along the way, it is important that we focus upon the things God has placed before us to learn. In every sense, now is a time for us all to really get to know ourselves. We need to explore our abilities and our limitations. It is especially important to pray that God opens our eyes and minds to see and understand how we are and how we can do better and be better. In treatment, it is time for people who have experience and perspective about addictions to guide and direct recovery. God has put time and resources in the path and proper use of these opportunities is imperative for a recovery beyond hopes and dreams. Let’s use this time to learn what God’s vision of manhood is and allow our lives to be shaped accordingly. Let’s recognize our character flaws and our behavioral patterns so we can make different choices. let’s, obediently, allow God to make us what He intends for us to be. Being obedient to God never goes unblessed.
Thank you for your blessing of our well being. Thank you for your faithfulness, even when we grow impatient. Please help us father to see through our own weaknesses to your providence. Help us to know ourselves, to understand the mistakes of the past and to prepare ourselves to avoid those same mistakes again. Father please provide us a peace in our hearts and our minds to know that your hand is on us and that you are directing our paths. Please replace our anxiety with anticipation of the future you have in store for us and give us the strength to wait for it to be revealed in your time. Help us to prepare ourselves for the moment when we are made to soar like eagles through your grace as your words in Isaiah tell us.
As always, thank you for reading and please feel free to respond to the blog in the comment section. Also feel free to explore our new website and follow us on Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. God bless you~Bradly