I often find myself wishing that God would give me a thumbs-up or some sign that I was doing right by him. As we plod through life and try to make decisions the best we can, we encounter some areas where God’s will can seem uncertain. We do have God’s word to guide us and the Holy Spirit which often nudges us in the right direction when necessary. Of course God’s will is NOT uncertain, but our perception of it can be. Sometimes God does send us the affirmation we need.
1 Corinthians 13:12 – For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
I want to share one last personal experience with you about a time recently when God sent me an affirmation just when I desperately needed it.
As you may know, I have recently graduated from College and have been seeking full-time employment. Some of the call-backs and interviews I received were for jobs that would mean moving my family from our current area to another far away county or state. It would have meant being away from my extended family and my church family and most of my friends. One of those positions included some incredible financial benefits that I could not refuse if offered the job. I was torn for weeks as I interviewed once and then was asked for and went though a second interview and then as I waited for the news of whether or not the job would be offered to me. So much seemed in the balance and I cried out to God for guidance because I had a job offer locally also. The answer was not in a bible verse since both jobs would meet my family’s needs. Both jobs allowed me to serve people in ways I know God would want me to. I knew I felt compelled to stay where we were but wasn’t sure if I was just afraid or reluctant and might be missing an opportunity God had given me or if it was the Spirit telling me what I should do. I wanted to remain in God’s will for my life.
As it turned out, the far away job sent a letter of rejection. I was relieved. I thought it surely must have been God’s will that I kept my family where we were and accepted the local job but then I wondered if I had done or said anything in my interviews to bring about the decision to offer the job to someone else. Could the interviewer sense my hesitation? Did I somehow sabotage the opportunity? I was still going through these thoughts, mixed with the relief that I would not be moving, would not be building a life from the ground up in a strange place. I decided to send out a few messages to family and friends who had been praying for me to let them know the answer had arrived.
Immediately, my father called me. He was crying. He told me he was sorry things didn’t work out with that position but he was so happy I’d be staying close by. He said he loved me and that we’d only recently started to heal our relationship as father and son. He was afraid if we were far apart, our relationship would not continue as it had been. He even asked if he could help in any way to make up the difference in the benefits the other job would have allowed us. It was a beautiful moment. We shared tears and I didn’t even know I needed my father to say or feel those things. As if that wasn’t reassuring enough that I needed to be right where I was, I got a text from my son. The text asked for forgiveness for a long ago choice he had made that hurt our relationship. He told me he wanted us to start spending more time together and that he needed me to help him as he makes some changes in his life. Oh how I’d prayed for this young man and for this moment. We talked for over an hour. By bedtime, I was emotionally spent and never more sure of where I am and what I’m doing.
So when you feel like you are only looking through a glass darkly, not really clear on what to do, please remember to honor the Spirit nudging you inside and trust in your prayers and the prayers of the people who lift up your needs to God. God is good and he even knows when we need him to spell it out for us. In all our endeavors, especially in big life choices, such as our jobs, our homes, the battles we need God to win, reach out to God and he will reach right back.
This is the last blog post I’ll be doing for Trinity Life Ministry as I have accepted a full-time position serving God in a different organization and in a different way. I have been so blessed by the opportunity to share my thoughts and experiences and the bits of insight God has shown me and others through this blog. Please keep following the blog as new exciting posts come every week (sometimes more than once) and please continue supporting Trinity through your donations of items and clothing as well as through shopping at one of the thrift stores that help support the work they do. God bless you all and thank you for reading.
~Bradly J. Gray